Let’s Talk About: Asexual

tiedupinthecloset:

princeofbondage:

So, I stumbled onto Grindr a little while ago and I wanted to be completely clear from the start.

I’m looking for someone who wants to get tied up, but doesn’t want to fuck. I want to practice, but, until recently, I never had the courage to ask someone or be open about my bondage hobby.

I said that I’m asexual and I get a lot of the following: “let’s fuck”, “what’s asexual?” “Okay, if I let you tie me up, you’ll fuck me, right?”

When we come down to the nitty gritty stuff, there’s all different types of asexuals. I’m just gonna talk about me because I know about me.

It’s not that I just haven’t had the right “dick” or “pussy” yet. That’s like telling a straight guy he just hasn’t had the right dick yet or a gay man he just hasn’t tried the right vagina. It’s that sex is actually extremely repulsive to me.

When we look at sex, and I mean REALLY look at sex, it’s weird writhing, bodily fluid exchanging, and a mess. Some people really love it, some people are indifferent towards it, and some people just can’t. If you can at least look at it from my point of view like that, I hope it’s understandable.

It’s not that I don’t want a relationship, it’s that my relationship isn’t hinged on having sex. That’s not my end game, that’s not my big romantic intimate goal. It doesn’t factor into anything for me.

I dunno if this is true for other asexuals, but I hear comments like the listed above all the time. I’ve actually been told I’m an abomination, and it wasn’t some highly religious person. It’s because I apparently don’t follow human nature, so I must not have tried hard enough. If I just fuck someone, it’ll all be better.

Does anyone else feel this way? Or at least understand where I’m coming from?

I hear you. This is actually why I lost interest in dating. The thing that people don’t understand about asexuality, especially something like asexual fetishism, is that some people can be into bondage but have no sexual desire for it or can be into it sexually, but it isn’t just a “kink.” Having a kink implies that a person is turned on by normative sex (intercourse, oral, nudity, etc.) but just happens to have a tolerance for or vague interest in something fetishistic. I on the other hand, have very little interest in things related to normative sex, which qualifies me as asexual, but I still have a sexuality because I am only turned on by things that are related to bondage. Where bondage is concerned, I am actually a very sexual person.